May 2, 2006 - With apologies to the Kingston Trio and the MTA
(sung to The Wreck of Old 97)

Poor Charlie drove up with his tank on empty,
And his Master Card in his hand,
He got in line with the yellow Humvee,
That he drove all over this land.
The radio was tuned to the Fox News Station
And he heard the President say,
You’re addicted to oil and I can’t help you,
You’ll just have to pay and pay.

Did he ever fill up? No he never filled up
And he sits there still today,
With the gauge on empty in the yellow Humvee
And Master Card will not pay.

The price went up by one more dollar
While the Humvee sputtered and died
Charlie climbed down and tried to push it
While his wife just sat and cried.
They were ten feet from the unleaded nozzle
When it went up one more time
The price that had been three dollars fifty
Was now four and a dime.

Did he ever fill up, no he never filled up
And he sits there still today,
With the gauge on empty in the yellow Humvee
And Master Card will not pay.

He finally got up to the nozzle,
And gave his card a swipe,
The message came, “You have reached your limit
And nothing came down the pipe.
So all you good people who live in Boston
Or Hackensack or Rome
Remember the story of poor old Charlie
And keep your Humvee home.

Did he ever fill up, no he never filled up
And he sits there still today,
With the gauge on empty in the yellow Humvee
And Master Card will not pay.