May 30, 2003 - It is Bob Hope’s 100th Birthday and to celebrate George W. Bush is taking his show on the road. The President will visit with Jacques Chirac in Evian and visit Warsaw for a pep talk to Old and New Europe. From there it is off to Amman where he will give Sharon and Abbas a Trip-Tik to go with the roadmap he mailed to them earlier. One place that he won’t be visiting is anyplace near the 100,000 or so American Troops in harms way in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Veterans remember Bob Hope’s road trips bringing a reminder of home to soldiers in WWII, Korea, and Vietnam and on cold war era stations on every continent. Hope went where the troops were. In many places where the danger was real Hope and his show played showed real courage; but then anyone who was willing to do some of the scripts that Hollywood gave Hope had already demonstrated that quality. For generations of Americans the British born comedian became an icon of patriotism.

Back home in Washington it looks like Don Rumsfeld is hawking a script for a sequel to follow the mixed success of his previous less than blockbuster productions, The Road to Kandahar and The Road to Baghdad. Oldsters who saw the Hope road pictures – really the same script in another exotic session – recognize the same pre-production publicity releases – Weapons of Mass Destruction; Nuclear Weapons Program; Support for the Terrorists; Interfering with its Neighbors – all to pre-sell the Road To Teheran to the same audience.

Hope’s USO shows were a healthy mix of wholesome and ribald humor that the troops greeted with enthusiasm. A starlet clad in a fur bikini, Terry Moore, was a highlight of the show that Hope presented in the midst of a Korean winter and Marilyn Monroe made a suit of fatigues look absolutely sexy. That won’t happen now when the Attorney General of the United States is busy protecting the US from the sight of an aluminum breast.

Of course we are assured by the Secretary of State and White House that the meeting with Chirac won’t be either a love feast or confrontation. The President may go to Evian but he won’t drink the water. George Bush on the Road to Wherever holds all the promise of the production values demonstrated in his last role – the lead in “Flattop Jet Jockey”.

When he ran for President we were promised that he was a “Reformer with results”. We haven’t seen any “reform” and, unless your income is $300 K or greater, damn few results. Maybe our President needs what Bob Hope had- a sense of humor and some guts.